A series of unfortunate Akatsukis
by Joker O'Sins
Summary: Akatsuki goes on vacation, but everything that could go wrong, well goes wrong. From flat tires to flight hijacks to being stranded on an island, it just gets worse and worse.....
1. Good Morning?

A series of unfortunate Akatsukis

The Leader decided that his members needed a break. So makes them go on vacation. But everything that could go wrong; goes wrong. Maybe the Akatsuki just have bad luck or maybe its karma, but from flat tires, to plane hijacks to being stranded on an island. Who know what will happen next to the poor Akatsuki……..

A/N: Based on the two and a half year time skip (this is during the time skip).

Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto

It was just turning dawn as the Leader goes around the Akatsuki hideout with a frying pan banging and shouting, "WAKE UP! EMERGACY!! WAKE UP WAKE UP, C'MON! GET UP GET UP, WAKE UP MY FELLOW AKATSUKI!!!!!"

In a few minuets all the members are in the living-room still half asleep and still in their BJs.

"Welcome my good Akasuki!" the Leader says as he comes from the kitchen with a tray of food, breakfast. "Uhh Deidara, put some pants on".

As the members ate the Leader began, "Have I told you all that you are all my favorite Akatsuki?"

"We're your only Akatsuki!" someone shouted.

The Leader ignored that and continued, "Well anyway, I decided that you all need a break-"

"Oh no! Are you sending us to another haunted house again?" Kakuzu shouted.

"Or a so called 'Akatsuki conference'" Kisame added.

"And remember that time when we went on that wild Goose-Chase?" Hidan said.

"And when you sent us to get the Sand Jinchuriki!? I almost got killed!" Sasori shouted.

"And-"

"No, no, no, no, no, and NO!" the Leader shouted, "I'm trying to be nice here and give you guys a break and this is how you treat me!? I can't believe I called you guys my friends!" and he ran off.

"Did I miss something?" Deidara said as he came back.

There was an awkward silence and then Itachi said as he got up, "Fine, I guess I'll have to cheer him up".

"I'll go with you Itachi-san" Tobi said.

Itachi found the Leader crying in the corner of his office.

He heard the door open and said, "Go away! I don't want to talk to a bunch of bullies".

"It's just us Leader" Tobi said.

"Leader, I'll be the first to admit that you messed up big time sometimes. But we were just expressing our feelings. I'm sure they all appreciate you very much".

"Itachi"

"Yes?"

"I'm over here! Why are you talking to my desk!?"

"Here you go Itachi" and Tobi handed him his glasses.

"In other words Leader" Tobi said, "You really suck at giving directions. But we still love ya".

"Gee thanks guys" the Leader says in sarcasm.

"Wipe those tears away and let's just go back to the living-room and talk this over" Tobi says.

They went back to the room and talked it over.

After a few heart-warming conversations the Leader blows his nose on Itachi's neck-band and says, "I'm glad we all understand each other; and Deidara, we didn't need to know that you're a virgin. Now pack your things cause you're all going to Hawaii!" the Leader said with a smile.

Update Soon

REVIEW


	2. Hawaii here comes Akatsuki

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

"Yippy!" Tobi cheers, "Hawaii!"

"It better be all expensive-paid" Kakuzu mumbles.

"Hawaii?" Sasori yells, "I hate the water, not to mention I'm none-buoyant! Do you want to try and kill me again?"

"Relax, relax everyone" the Leader says, "I think you all need a vacation. Get away from all these ninjas and Jinchurikis and demons. Just go and have a good time".

"Hey no need to tell me twice" Kisame says as he gets up, "if it involves water I'm up for it!" and he runs up to his room.

"I still don't like it" Sasori argues, "I mean, at least pick another more artistic location".

"I don't mind" Deidara says, "I say Hawaii is plenty artistic, yeah. With the ocean and flowers and beaches……Let's go already!" and he runs up to his room too.

"Very well-"

But the Leader is cut off by Zetsu blasting through the door panting like crazy.

"Zetsu-san?"

"What! I didn't do it! You can't prove it okay!?" Zetsu shouts as he runs to the kitchen as they hear cop sirens, "I'm not here", he says as he goes and hides under the table.

"Well then, its settled" the Leader says, "you are all going to Hawaii. Go pack your things".

"Hawaii?" Zetsu says, "Great! That's far from here, not that I don't mind being here. I love it here! Let's not move, but I didn't eat anyone! Hawaii, let's go let's go!" and he runs up to his room.

"But how about my swimming problem!?" Sasori complains.

"Don't worry" Tobi says trying to cheer him up, "Tobi will teach you how to swim".

In a matter of minuets all of the Akatsuki members were packed and ready to go.

"Itachi where's all your stuff?" Kisame asks.

"Don't worry, all I need are these" he says as he puts on his glasses.

"Alright then, let's get going! Hurry! Before the cops come….I mean before we miss our flight!"

"I call shotgun" Tobi cheers as he jumps in the Akatsuki mini-van.

"I'll drive, yeah!" Deidara says.

"I don't mind where I sit just as long as I have a window" Kakuzu says as he gets in and sits by a window.

Everyone gets fitted in and takes a seat.

"This is weak" Itachi says, Why is this so weak? Because it lacks……more elbow room". Itachi says as he gets stuck between big puppet Sasori and fish-man Kisame.

Zetsu jumps in the truck and shouts, "C'mon let's get this tin-can moving!"

"Everyone ready, hmmm?" Deidara ask. And they all nod.

"Alright then-"

"Wait wait!" Tobi shouts, "how about Hidan-san?"

"Hidan!!" they all shout.

"I'm coming I'm coming!" he says as he gets in the back with Zetsu, "I was finishing praying…….for our lives."

"Now take care of her" the Leader says to Deidara referring to his mini-van, "I'm still not done paying it off yet".

"Don't worry Leader" Deidara says, "I'll take care of it just as if it was my own, yeah".

"That's what I'm afraid of" he mumbles to himself.

"Okay, now everyone ready, hmm?"

They all nod and Deidara steps on the peddle and with one final wave to their Leader the Akatsuki go off.

Next stop, the airport!

Update Soon

Review


	3. On their way to the airport

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis **_

A/N: Well everyone, here it comes: The Series of Unfortunate Events……….Poor Akatsukis

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or The Series of Unfortunate Events

The Akatsuki van goes 'bump' again.

Bump, bump, bump over and over again.

"Deidara, would you stop running over cats!?" Sasori yells.

"What can I say? I'm not a cat-person, yeah" Deidara says. Bump.

"We are about to enter the turnpike" Kisame says, "from here just go straight and then go left and we'll get to the airport".

"Ok, yeah!" Deidara cheers as he runs over yet another cat.

"I like cats as much as Deidara but even I think that was way to extreme" Hidan says as he prepares to pray for the cats.

"I guess you are right, hmm. I'll stop, yeah" Deidara says.

"I hope it won't cost much to clean out those cat-guts from the tires" Kakuzu mumbles.

"C'mon, are we at the airport yet!?" Zetsu asks, "I think I hear some sirens again".

"Oh no" Tobi says, "Zetsu-san is in trouble".

"What no! I didn't do anything, you can't prove it!"

"Relax you guys", Kisame says, "just got to turn over this corner and we'll be there".

Deidara zigzags through the road, other cars beeping at him but he didn't care.

"Deidara! This is not one of your clay birds! Drive right!" Sasori complains.

"Sasori-danna" Deidara says, "You take the fun out of everything, yeah"

But then as they turn the corner they feel another 'bump'.

"Deidara I thought you said you'll stop running over cats!?!" Sasori shouted.

"I did, yeah. But that wasn't a cat". Deidara says.

Suddenly the van starts to spin out of control but Deidara gains it back in control and pulls the emergency breaks.

"So that really does work…..You can stop screaming now Tobi" Deidara says.

"Is everyone okay?" Tobi asks while still in a daze.

"This car is so weak. Why is it so weak…….because it lack air-bags". Itachi groans.

"I knew it!" Hidan shouts, "The evil cats have come and avenged their dead".

"Shut-up Hidan" Kakuzu says, "It's just a flat".

"Great, a flat tire! Now how are we going to get to the airport" Zetsu complains.

"Don't worry, we'll just use the spare tire" Kisame says.

"Actually" Hidan says, "I threw out the spare tire to make room for me".

"You did what!?" Sasori yells, "how much of an idiot are you!?"

"Hey, hey guys, let's not fight now" Tobi says trying to be a peacemaker.

"I agree with Sasori" Kisame saysas he cracks his knuckles, "No way am I missing a trip to Hawaii".

"Oh great God" Hidan gets on his knees and starts praying, "help me overcome this unfortunate event".

"God is not ganna get me to Hawaii" Kisame shouts.

"Wait, wait everyone", Tobi says, "Kakuzu-san can buy us a new tire".

"Say what!?!?" Kakuzu shouts "don't look at me!"

"Oh we're looking at you" Kisame says with a grin.

"No way, no way in Hell, am I ganna waste my money!"

"Oh yes you are" Sasori says he begins to take out his tail.

"Wait a sec Sasori-san" Tobi says, "I thought you were the first one to not want to go to Hawaii?"

"Yes that's true" he admits, "but I need a vacation……Desperately!"

He turns back to Kakuzu and stares at him until……

"Okay fine!" Kakuzo shouts, take it here", and hands him a ball of cash.

"Excuse me, coming through, my bad" Sasori says as he tries to get out of the van.

"I'll be back with a new tire" he says.

After a few minuets Sasori comes back with a fresh tire.

"Does anyone how to put on a tire?" Sasori asks.

"I think I do" Hidan says "Kakuzu, helps me!"

"I paid for it! The hell I'll help you, you do it!"

"Hmph fine!" he says and prays for a sec before starting. "I think it goes like this and then…..yeah and…….perfect! I got it!" he says as it starts to rain.

"I don't think Hidan's God likes him too" Tobi whispers to Itachi.

"Ah! Damn you!" Hidan says as he points at the sky and curses some more while slashing around his scythe.

"Uhh Hidan" Kisame says.

"What!?"

"I'm ganna kill you!! You sliced up the wheel!"

"I can fix that" Hidan says, "Kakuzu!"

"Get your own money you religious bastered!"

And Kisame tackles Hidan to the floor and they start rolling and scratching at each other like little girls.

"In situations like these" Itachi says, "we have no choice but to lung with the problems. I think I have a solution for this……."

Deidara sets the van in 'Park' and Hidan begins to push it with them inside.

"This is a cruel and unusual punishment" Hidan says to himself.

"Hey this wouldn't have been happening if you only sat somewhere else" Kakuzu says, "now less talking and more pushing".

After what should've taken 30 minuets, ends up taking 3 hours. They finally arrive at the airport and Hidan is so tired that Kakuzu is forced to give him a piggy-back-ride.

"But why me?" Kakuzu complains.

"You're his partner think it's only fair" Sasori says with a smirk.

_Flight to Hawaii has just left, _they heard in the AP.

"Noooooo!!!!!" Kisame yells as he falls on his knees.

"It's okay Kisame-san" Tobi says, "we can take the next flight……..Which leaves in 10 minuets".

Itachi is grabbed by the shirt by Kisame and he says, "LET'S GO!"

It's now a race against time. The Akatsuki run though the rain to get to the otehrside of the airport. They get soaking wet but Kisame gave them little time to dry off, he runs to the desk and shouts to the man in front, "EIGHT TICKETS TO HAWAII!"

"Would you like-"

"No! Just eight tickets and that's it!"

"Thank yo-"

"Thank you too!" Kisame shouts as he ran back to the other members and gave them their tickets, "Come on!"

And they all ran to the gate their plane is at. They hand the women their tickets and run in. The lounge area to wait for their plane was packed. It was filled with weird men, tourist, kids and so many more people.

_Flight to Hawaii will be delayed for one hour due to weather circumstances, they heard on the PA._

"_Noooooo!!!!!!!!" Kisame falls to his knees again._

"_What are we ganna do for one whole hour, hmm? Deidara says._

"_This is rather unlucky" Itachi says to himself. _

Update soon

REVIEW


	4. While waiting for a plane

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

_Who likes waiting for their plane to arrive; I sure as hell don't lol, let's see how the Akatsuki deal with this unfortunate event._

"I'll be over their in that corner……..Hiding." Zetsu says.

"Then I'll have a drink, yeah" Deidara says.

"I'll join you" Itachi followed.

"Don't waste all of Akatsuki's money!" Kakuzu shouts, "I'll just go sit down and count my coins".

"Hmm, I better use this time wisely…….I better pray" Hidan says.

"I'll join you Hidan-san" Tobi says.

"Well I think this will be good timing to read up on Hawaii's marine-life" Kisame says as he picks up a magazine about Hawaii.

"I'll just play some solitary……" Sasori says to himself.

One-hundred, hundred-two, hundred-three, hundred four" Kakuzu says to himself.

"Hi weird mister" a boy says to Kakuzu.

"Wha-! Kid go away! I'm counting my coins!" he yells at him and the boy goes away crying.

"Now where was I…?" he sighed and begins again, "One, two, three, four…….."

"Today was interesting, hmm Itachi" Deidara asks.

"Today was weak. Why was it so weak…….because it lacked-"

"Okay Itachi you got to stop saying that, yeah"

"But that's my 'thing'. Like you got your 'yeah' and 'hmmm' I got to have my 'it lacks'"

"But at least I switch minds around a bit. You repeat it over and over, yeah".

"Not really, at the end I always say something different".

"Not really, hmm? How about with that brother of yours, you always tell him 'you lack hatred' and blah, blah, blah".

The both laughed a bit and took a sib from their cups.

"Itachi, I'm gay, yeah".

"No, no, no!" Hidan shouts, "You are messing up the ritual! Don't touch anything!"

"Sorry Hidan-san" Tobi says, "but I still think that you should pray with your eyes open. Cause what if someone smacks you over the head when your eyes are close?"

Hidan sighs and says, "Can't you go bother someone else?"

"Nope, nope" he says happily, "Deidara-sama told me not to bother him when he's drinking and Zetsu-san is no where to be found".

"Everyone listen up" Kisame shouts to the whole room as he stands up on a table, "the marine-life in Hawaii is critical! Please don't litter and please save the whales! Please!"

"No one cares you freak!" someone shouts.

"Don't you guys get it?" Kisame says again, "We get 65 of our nutrients and food from the ocean, if you continue to pollute the waters you'll kill yourselves too! Save the fishy people!"

But Kisame was just ignored.

"Boo! Get off the stage" Tobi shouts with a laugh.

"Are you the one who made my little boy cry?" a big man asks Kakuzu.

"Five-thousand……Arg! Listen mister, I'm busy now" Kakuzu says as he continues to count his coins and doesn't even look at the man, "I'll tell you what I told your kid: GO AWAY!"

"Not until you apologize to my boy" the man says as he lifts Kakuzu up with one hand.

Kakuzu swallows big as he looks at the big muscle dad.

Poke, poke, and poke. That's all this kid does to Zetsu as Zetsu tries to mind his own business in a corner.

"Kid! Stop poking me! Leave me alone!" Zetsu shouts, but the kids ignores him and continues to poke.

"Hey their hansom!" a lady says to Deidara.

"Do I know you, hmm?" he asks.

"You should, we went to high school together. Don't you remember me, hmm Ricky?"

"I think she's drunk, Deidara" Itachi says.

"Hey listen lady, my name is Deidara, you have me mistaken".

"Oh shy as ever Ricky!"

"Talk to the hand lady" Deidara says.

"Is there a problem here, Kakuzu?" Sasori asks while staring at the muscle guy as he chokes his team-mate.

"Your friend here made my little boy cry, he needs to apologize" the muscle dad says.

"H-help" Kakuzu wipes.

"He is our financial source, we still need him" Sasori says his brings out his tail.

"In that case, he better say he is sorry" the man says.

"Or you can…….get lost!" Sasori says as he strikes, but his tail is stopped by another muscle man!

"Bro, what's going in here?" the other muscle man says.

"These people made Jr cry and now they want to kill me!"

"Oh really?" he says as he cracks his knuckles, "Let's show these people a listen in matters".

Hidan mumble some stuff but then BANG! He gets whacked in the head by Tobi.

"What the hell was that for!?" Hidan shouts.

"I told you that you shouldn't close your eyes while praying" Tobi says.

"I'll show you!" Hidan says as he tackles Tobi to the ground.

"Kid, if you want to live you'll leave me alone" Zetsu says, but the boy continues to poke him.

"Lady get off of me, hmm!" Deidara yells.

"Oh don't me so shy Ricky" she says.

"Wow! Don't go down there!" Deidara shouts.

"Want help?" Itachi asks.

"No thanks, I got this…." Deidara says as he makes a clay bird, "here take it, and leave me alone, yeah!"

"Oh you always were the artistic type Ricky" the lady says as she goes away.

"Katon" Deidara whispers and they hear a scream and an explosion.

"Don't you think you over did it?" Itachi says.

"She pissed me off" Deidara replies.

Sasori gets thrown across the room and then gets kicked pack like a volley ball.

Kakuzu continues to get choked and gasps for breath.

"Kakuzu!" Sasori yells, "Just apologize!"

"No! Never! I have dignity!" Kakuzu says.

"Your pride will mean nothing if your dead!" Sasori argues.

"Sorry, excuse me" Kisame says as he pushes the muscle man choking Kakuzu out of the way, "Kakuzu! I need ten bucks!"

"I'll give you fifty bucks if you take care of those two guys" Kakuzu says as he gasps for breath.

Kisame grins and says, "He-he, you just lost fifty bucks".

_Flight to Hawaii will be arriving shortly, please get ready,_ they heard on the PA.

Hidan and Tobi get up and get their things ready.

Itachi and Deidara finish their drinks and does to form the line.

Kisame takes care of the two muscle men and help Sasori and Kakuzu up.

"Let's go Zetsu" Sasori orders, "and get that shoe out of your mouth.

Update Soon

REVIEW


	5. An unplesent flight

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

_Here comes yet another unfortunate event _in_ the Akatsuki's trip. This is what makes it all go down-hill._

The Akatsuki sat down in their seats and lucky they were all sitting together in the same area.

"Remember" Kakuzu said, "I call window".

"I don't care where I sit just as long as I can pray and I'm away from that Tobi!" Hidan says.

"Lots good your praying is doing us, yeah" Deidara mumbles sarcastically.

"I think I'm going to be sick" Zetsu says to himself, "stupid munchkin, gave me heartburn".

"Great I'm sitting next to you?" Sasori says as he looks at Tobi, who was waving at everyone who pass by.

"I can't believe it!" Kisame says as he sits down and jumps up and down like a little girl, "we are finally going to Hawaii!" he goes to Hidan whom is next to him and shakes him out of his trance, "We're going to Hawaii!"

Itachi sits down and then Deidara asks him, "What's wrong Itachi?"

"I see…..a disturbance" he says.

"What? Huh? Can that Sharingan of yours tell the future too?"

"No…..Just a gut-feeling" Itachi says.

_Everyone this is your captain speaking, please buckle up, we will be departing soon_, they hear from the PA.

Tobi begins to sceream.

"Tobi we haven't even began moving yet" Sasori says.

"Yes I know, I was just practicing" Tobi replies.

The plane slowly begins to move but it soon escalates to a full lunch and soars to the sky!

"My glasses!" Itachi shouts as he glasses fly off his face and disappear into the back of the plane.

Hidan continues to mumble some stuff but is once again brought back to reality by Kisame.

"Yeah! Yeah! Hawaii!" Kisame cheers.

"Don't you know its bad luck to disturb a man when he is busy?!" Hidan shouts.

"I thought you were just religious, I didn't know you believed in superstitions too" Kisame says.

"Weeeee!!!!!!"Tobi cheers too.

"Weren't you going to be screaming?" Sasori asks.

"Nope. I got tired of that, weeeeeee!!!!!" he continues.

"My stomach is not in the right mood to fly" Zetsu groans, "maybe I shouldn't have eaten his sister too".

Kakuzu just stares out the window and whispers to himself, "I'll buy that building, and that one, and that street, and that other building and maybe that lake……"

"Whoa, this is awesome, yeah!" Deidara says is awe as he looks out the window, "this is my first time flying, hmm".

A man then gets up from his seat and shoots some bullets into the roof.

"Everyone get down!" the man said in an axsenent, "this is a hijack!" and then a few more of his friends stand up with guns too.

"What are the chances this happens in our flight?" Itachi asks himself.

"Eeeeek!" Tobi screams.

"You _have_ been practicing" Sasori says.

"Oh thanks Sasori-san" Tobi says with a smile.

"Shut-up! No talking!" a machine-gun man says to them.

"Excuse me sir" Kisame says but is rudely told to shut-up.

"But does this mean no Hawaii?" Kisame asks.

"No, no Hawaii" the man says, "we go to Iraq".

"No Hawaii??" Kisame says to himself, "oh they are ganna pay for this!"

The terrorists begin barking out orders in some weird language and the plane starts to turn around.

"Hey you guys!" Sasori says as he gets out of his seat, "I need a vacation, and you guys are not going to ruin it!"

The terrorists shout in another language and being shooting like crazy at Sasori.

"This is one of the advantageous of being made of wood" he says to himself.

But then one of the terrorists throw a bottle at Sasori and it blows up on him creating an explosion of fire.

"Ahh!! I'm ganna die! Put it out, put it out!" Sasori screams as he goes around the whole plane.

"Stop, drop, and roll Sasori-san!" Tobi shouts.

"Oh!! I can't take it anymore" Zetsu says as he vomits on top of one of the terrorists.

"Ahh!" the terrorist shouts, "acid, acid!!"

"Good distraction Sasori and Zetsu" Kisame says to himself, "hey Hidan" he says, "do you know what one of those guys said about your religou?" and Kisame whispers something in Hidan's ear…..

"What?!" Hidan shouts, "which one!?"

And Kisame just points to any of the terrorist.

"Yahhhh!!" Hidan yells as he slices up one of the terrorists.

They yell some more stuff out in another language and shoot at Hidan, when they see that the bullets are not killing him they throw some fire-grenades at him, but again no effect.

"That hurts! That burns! That feels good!!!" Hidan screams.

"Now's our turn, Itachi" Deidara says and Itachi nods.

Itachi gets up and runs and punches…….Deidara.

"Itachi!? Where are your glasses?!" Deidara asks.

"Lost them" Itachi says as he kicks an innocent, "but its okay, I don't need them" and he punches Tobi, "I think I'm getting them" and tosses an old lady across the plane.

The terrorists look at each other and say something in their weird language. They nod and run to the door and get the parachutes. They wave good-bye and jump off. Deidara closes the door and says, "Well that went well".

"Uhh, what's that?" Zetsu moans and points to a black ball on the ground.

"A grenade" Tobi says.

They all look at each other and then…….BOOM!

Update Soon

REVIEW


	6. Stranded

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

_Stranded, on an isolated island, no way to escape, no where to go, how will they survive this unfortunate event?_

"Does anyone know how to drive a plane!?" Kisame shouted.

"Deidara! You drive!" Sasori shouted from the floor as he continues to try and turn off the flames.

"What?! No! I can't drive a plane, yeah!" Deidara argued.

"I can drive it" Tobi said as he skipped to the cockpit.

The plane was rushing down to Earth like crazy, it was on fire and it was damaged too. Tobi goes to the wheel and turns in up, but the plane then goes down faster. He scratches his head and turns the wheel up harder.

"Tobi! What are you doing?!" Deidara yelled.

"We were going down to I thought if you turn the wheel up, the plane will go up" he said.

"Tobi, you idiot! It doesn't work that way for a plane!" Sasori shouted as he continues to roll on the floor.

"That's it, we're ganna die, I'm ganna go pray" Hidan said as he gets on his knees.

"Your playing has done us no good this whole time you religious good-for-nothing!" Kakuzu yells at Hidan.

"Oh yeah……Well what have you done to help this trip along!" Hidan counters back.

"I bought a freaking tire! Can your God do that? Could he have gotten us a tire?! I don't think so!" Kakuzu shouts.

"Let me try again" Tobi says.

"No!!!" they a scream.

"I can't believe this" Itachi says to himself, "this is Akatsuki, the greatest of all and we can't even fly a plane? This is weak……."

"Kisame, what's wrong?" Zetsu asks, "I should be crying, I mean, who wants to die after a bad meal?"

Kisame sniffs and says, "No, its nothing. I'm just glad that I'm going to die with my best-friends……..I'll see you all in Hell"

AND THE PLANE CRASHES.

"Uhh, oh man….." Deidara moans, "Am I alive?"

"Go to the light Deidara-sama" a voice says, "go to the light….."

"What!? Am I really dead?!" Deidara snaps up and sees Tobi laughing his ass off.

Kakuzu wonders around the beach and sees Hidan, sort of. He just sees is head and his body parts scattered everywhere.

"Care to give me a hand!?" Hidan shouts.

"Why don't you tell your God to help you?" Kakuzu says.

"Shut-up and help me here!"

"Have you seen Sasori-danna, hmm?" Deidara asks Tobi.

Tobi points to a try and Sasori is shown hanging by his tail, "Don't say a word" Sasori says.

"Piñata, yeah!" Deidara says as he laughs and points.

"I'll kill you Deidara! Just wait till I get down from here!" Sasori yells as he tries to get down.

"Guys, guys!" Zetsu yells as he comes from the jungle, "there are no people here! No people mean no food, no food! I'm ganna starve!"

"Think you got it bad?" Hidan's head says as Kakuzu comes holding it along with his other body parts, "just look at me!"

"I think this is a sign to convert to another religion" Tobi says with a laugh.

"Oh shut-up!" Hidan says.

"Well at least you guys can see" Itachi says as he comes out of no where, I was wondering around this stupid island for over an hour!"

"Itachi" Deidara says, "We're over here, that's a tree you're talking to"

"See what I mean!" Itachi shouts.

"Where's Kisame" Kakuzu asks.

Tobi points to the beach and they see Kisame playing in the water.

"Yay, water, fishy, Hawaii, vacation…….." Kisame cheers as he continues to play.

"He's gone crazy, huh?" Deidara asks.

"Afraid so" Kakuza admits.

"Can someone get me down from here?!" Sasori shouts.

It soon turns night and the Akatsuki all gather around a pile of sticks.

"This is our camp-fire?" Hidan asks.

"Just a sec…." Itachi says and throws fire out of his mouth, but misses and burns Sasori.

"Oh no! I'm ganan die! Not again! Ahhh!!" Sasori screams and runs to the beach.

"Oops, let me try again-" Itachi says.

"No! No, no, no….Its okay Itachi" Deidara says.

"Let me do it" Tobi says as he takes out a box of matches.

"Where'd you get that?" Zetsu asks.

"I found it in my pocket" he says with a smile and sets the sticks ablaze.

Sasori comes back gasping for air, "get me away from all you fire users!" he shouts, "you all want to kill me or something!?"

"What are you doing Kakuzu?" Itachi asks.

"Sewing Hidan's body back up" he says.

"Where did you learn how to sew?" Hidan asks.

"Well, it all started in 3rd grade…….." Kakuzu says.

"I don't have time to listen to such non-sense, I need FOOD!" Zetsu screams, "Sorry, that's the hunger talking".

"What's up with Kisame" Itachi asks, "he hasn't said a word sense we dragged him out of the beach".

They all shrug and look at the dazed Kisame. He just keeps mumbling stuff about Hawaii and the ocean and stuff he likes.

"I must say" Sasori says, "This is rather unlucky".

They all agree.

"So where are we ganna sleep" Tobi asks.

Update Soon

REVIEW


	7. Later that night

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

_Survival…..the drive to live, the instance to keep going no matter what. How will the Akatsuki survive this unfortunate event?_

_Tell me how am I doing so far, how can I improve or what am I doing wrong, the good and bad, how's the story so far?_

The Akatsuki started making hammocks.

"Kakuzu, I didn't know that you knew how to make hammocks?" Tobi says.

"Hammocks, sewing, what's the difference?" Kakuzu says.

"Hey speaking about sewing; how bout sewing me back up!? You only did my lower body!" Hidan's head shouts.

"These hammocks seem…….kind of hard" Itachi says as he tries to get more commutable.

"That's because you're laying on a rock" Kakuzu says.

"Someone help me with Kisame" Sasori says as he tries to lift the half-crazy fish-man to his bed.

"I'll help ya Sasori-san!" Tobi says.

"We'll need to search the island tomorrow, to see what is has and all, hmmm" Deidara says.

"Don't bother" Zetsu says, "This hunk of land has nothing, no people, no food, no nothing!"

"None-the-less, Deidara is right" Sasori says, and then he mumbles, "it's not like we have anything else to do".

"Well, I'm getting some shut-eye" Hidan says.

"Its not like you have anything else to do besides pray" Kakuzu says to himself.

"What'd you say?!" Hidan shouts.

"Just go to sleep" Kakuzu says as he puts a blanket over Hidan's head.

"Hey! Hey this is not fai-…..actually its quiet good" Hidan says.

"Night-night" Tobi says and goes to sleep.

And so the Akatsuki goes to sleep, that is until…………

"What was that!?" Kisame shouts as he falls from his hammock.

"What's wrong Kisame?" Itachi asks as he gets up from his rock.

"I hear…..voices!" he shouts.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they were just nightmares" Itachi assures.

"Y-yeah, just nightmares" Kisame tells himself.

"Go back to sleep, we have a big day tomorrow" Itachi says.

Kisame nods but then he jumps and screams again.

"What now?" Itachi asks.

"I hear them again" Kisame cries, "can I sleep with you? Pretty please Itachi-kun" Kisame begs.

Itachi sighs and says, "Fine, c'mon".

And so Kisame goes over to Itachi's rock and lies down beside him.

"Thank you" Kisame whispers.

Later that same night……..

"Uhhh……" Zetsu moans as he slowly gets out of his hammock.

He is sleep-walking, "Food, food, I need food" he moans again.

He crawls around the floor until he find something round. He goes and bites on it and starts chewing on it too.

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!" Hidan screams, "GET OFF OF ME!! STOP CHEWING ON MY EAR!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! HELP!!!!"

But everyone was asleep and no one heard him.

Zetsu goes and ends up eating Hidan's whole ear off.

"Aww" Zetsu says, "That was a good snack" and then he goes back to his hammock.

"HEY!" Hidan shouts, "YOUR GOING TO REGRET THIS! I WANT MY EAR BACK!"

Later that same night……..

"He-he" Kakuzu laughs, "I'm sure they won't miss it sense we are on this piece of junk. Kakuzu goes to each Akatsuki member and picks their pockets, getting their wallets and cash.

"Money, money, money, he-he" he sneers.

He goes to everyone and then to Tobi, "Hm? This kid has nothing, not even a wallet, or a pocket for that matter" he says as he scratches his head.

MORNING

"Wow, that was a terrible night, yeah" Deidara yawns as he gets up.

"I agree" Sasori says.

"Yuck! Yuck!" Zetsu spits, "feels like I ate rotting flesh last night! Yuck!"

"C'mon everyone get up!" Tobi yells.

"What! Look at this Sasori-danna" Deidara says as he points to Kisame and Itachi whom are still on the rock.

"How can the fish-man get sum last-night and I'm still a virgin, hmm?!" Deidara complains.

Sasori shrugs and says while patting him on the back, "Maybe Itachi is just not interested in blondes".

Update Soon

REVIEW


	8. In the Jungle

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

"We'll need to search the island" Kisame says.

"Ah! So you're sane again?" Tobi says.

"We don't want to get lost, so let's stay together" Sasori says.

"I'll stay here and start a signal fire" Zetsu suggests.

"Good idea, yeah!" Deidara says.

"Losers, go get lost in the jungle, he-he" Zetsu tells himself.

"What about me!?" Hidan's head says as he hops to them.

"Hidan and I will stay here then" Kakuzu says, "he needs to finish getting sewed anyway".

They all agree and Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Tobi and Deidara head off into the jungle. And Zetsu stays to do a fire while Kakuzu finishes sewing Hidan's body back up and Hidan waits impatiently.

"Right, let's get going" Itachi says but crashes into a tree.

So the five Akatsuki wonder into the jungle.

"What are we looking for anyway?" Tobi asks.

"Any sign of civilization" Sasori says.

"And so food" Kisame asks.

They start walking and find that the path splits in two.

"Which way, hmmm?" Deidara asks.

"Let's go left" Sasori says.

"Uhh guys wait up" Itachi says as he goes the other way.

"Are you done yet? C'mon, hurry!" Hidan's head shouts at Kakuzu.

"Patience! This stuff isn't easy" Kakuzu says as he continues to stitch Hidan's body up.

"Hello?!" Deidara yells, "Is there anyone out there, hmm?"

"We come in peace" Tobi yells.

"I hope this doesn't end up like that movie when these teens go off into the jungle and get eaten by head-hunters, yeah" Deidara says.

"Whoa, cool!" Tobi points and says, "Monkeys!"

"If there are animals here then that means that there is food" Kisame says, "right Itachi…..Itachi?"

"Oh no! It's happen already, yeah!" Deidara yells, "They got Itachi……..Why do the sexy ones always die first, hmm?"

"Grrrr" the pander growls.

"Hmm" Itachi says to himself, "a cat? Nice kitty" and goes to pet it.

"Jingle-bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, how much fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sled, jingle-bells, jingle all the way, I do not know the rest of the song, la-la-la-la……..uhhhh, lalalalalalala" Zetsu sings as he sets the sticks on the beach sand.

"Kakuzu" Zetsu says, "How bout lighting up these sticks for me?"

"Sure" and then he mumbles, "Lot's better then sewing this loser's body up".

"Hey! Wait!" Hidan shouts as Kakuzu gets up, "how about my body!?"

But he is ignored.

"This isn't so bad" Sasori says, "The view in this jungle is amazing".

"Yes, I agree Sasori-danna", Deidara says, "purely artistic, yeah".

"We really need to get out more" Kisame says.

And the pander jumps at Itachi and scratches him.

"This is no kitty……it's the Two-Tailed Demon!" Itachi says, "You saved us the trouble of searching for you".

The sticks by the beach that are supposed to be the signal fire are not lit up.

"Thank you Kakuzu" Zetsu says.

"No problem Zetsu" Kakuzu replies.

"Hey! How about me?!" Hidan shouts, "You're _my_ partner!"

"Yeah, yeah…….unfortunately" Kakuzu says to himself.

Itachi kicks the pander away and shouts at it as it runs away, "Hey get back here!" and starts running out it but runs off a cliff and falls in a lake.

"Hmmm? What are these things nibbling on my toes?" Itachi asks himself.

"Eek!" Kakuzu screams, "What happen to your ear Hidan?"

"That Zetsu happened!" Hidan sneers, "he'll pay……."

"Itachi!" Deidara shouts in surprise, "There you are, yeah!"

Itachi starts looking around like crazy, "Huh? Who? What was that? How do you know my name?"

"Thank goodness he was not kidnapped by the head-hunters" Tobi says.

"Hey!" Kisame shouts, "those are piranhas! Itachi get out of the water!"

"Wait guys, is that you?" Itachi asks.

"Here Itachi-san" Tobi shouts, "use this as a life-raft" and Tobi throws Sasori over to Itachi.

"No wait! I can't swim!" Sasori screams.

"Okay" and Itachi swims over to Sasori, "Sasori, why are you so scaly?"

"I'm over here!" Sasori screams as some hippos attack him, "That's an alligator!"

"Oh no!" Deidara says as he starts panicking, "what are we ganna do, hmm?!"

Kisame darts his eyes around and the pushes Tobi into the lake and the piranhas start biting him.

"How does that solve anything, hmm?" Deidara says.

"Even-out the problem" Kisame says with a laugh.

"What's taking those five so long?" Hidan says as he stretches he newly sewed body.

"Go find out" Kakuzu says.

"Hmph, I'll do that" and Hidan goes off into the jungle.

"Don't worry Sasori-danna, I'll help you…….Right after I help Itachi, yeah" Deidara says as he makes a clay figure.

The alligator swallows a piece of clay and the blows up, covering the Akatsuki is gator-guts. Kisame uses his fish talking no jutsu and forces the piranhas away from Tobi. But the hippos are still not done thrashing Sasori, the rest try to help me are tossed around too.

"Stupid pigs!" Kisame yells.

"Actually Kisame-san" Tobi says, "Hippopotamuses are really horses-"

"I don't care they pissed me off" and Kisame charges at them and starts a fist fight!

After a while Kisame comes out victorious, "See? No problem. I showed those pig-horse giants a thing or two".

But then hippos come back and sent the Akatsuki flying.

"Yeah, you took care of them alright" Sasori says as he readjusts his head and limbs.

"Did we get hit or something?" Itachi asks, "I think we are flying".

They all land in a lake of quicksand.

"Oh no! We're ganna die!" Tono shouts.

"Gee what gave you that idea?" Sasori mumbles to himself.

"Hello?!" Hidan shouts across the jungle, "Guys?! Hello!?"

"Guys" Itachi says, "I hear voices am I go crazy?"

They quiet down and listen and then they all hear Hidan's voice.

"No! I hear them too, yeah!" Deidara says.

"Yes, me too!" Sasori cheers,"and I don't even have ears!"

"We're over here! Help! Over there!!" they all begin to shout, "but watch out! There's quicksand here, hurry! Watch out!"

"Say what? Huh!" Hidan yells, "Speak up or something, I'm missing an ear here!" but it was too late, Hidan falls to the quicksand too.

"Welcome to the club" Tobi says.


	9. Red Cape, Blue Tights

_**A series of unfortunate Akatsukis**_

_**Sorry this chapter took so long but I was losing ideas, I got some more no thanks to my brother. I promise the long wait was worth it, there's a huge surprise special guest here.**_

"So how are we ganna get out of this?" Kisame says.

"You should know! You got us into this!" Sasori yells.

"Well is it my fault that the hippos attacked you?" Kisame says, "You should be grateful, I saved you".

"Lot's saving you did, yeah. Getting us stuck in this quicksand of death" Deidara mumbles.

"Well guys, like I said at the plane" Kisame says, "see you all in hell".

"Wait, Hidan can save us!" Tobi shouts, "Hidan, Hidan! Tell your God to help us".

"Oh shut-up you!" Hidan shouts, "this is the thanks I get for trying to help these idiots!" Hidan shouts to the sky.

"Wait" Itachi says, "I think we are sinking".

"I better go find Hidan" Kakuzu says, "He's taking too long".

"So any last words, hmm?" Deidara asks them all.

"I have no regrets….." Kisame says.

"If I survive this trip" Hidan says while praying, "I will pray twice as much…..No! Three times as much!".

"I just wish I saw Hawaii" Kisame says.

"You mean you never went Kisame-san?" Tobi asks.

"Well you didn't miss much, yeah" Deidara adds.

"I just wish I stayed home….." Sasori sighs.

"It was nice knowing you all" Tobi says.

"I gues-" but Hidan was cut off by Itachi.

"Shhh" Itachi says, "I am…..hearing voices again".

"Kakuzu!" Hidan shouts, "Help!"

"Oh man" Kakuzu says, "how'd you guys end up here?"

"We'll explain later but just help us!" Kisame screams.

And so Kakuzu uses his stings to lift the Akatsuki out of the quicksand.

"Can't believe it" Sasori says, "us, the great Akatsuki, taken down by a bunch of hippos and quicksand….."

"it could've been worse and much more embarrassing" Tobi says.

"Sasori sighs and says, "That's not the point".

They went back to the camp/beach and sat down.

"These coconuts are rather hard and barely have any milk" Itachi says.

"Those are rocks Itachi, yeah" Deidara says.

"That explains a lot" Itachi says as he tosses the rock away.

"OUCH!" Tobi yells as a rock falls on him.

"How's that signal fire coming along Zetsu?" Kisame asks.

"Lots better then your food gathering" Zetsu mumbles.

"What?" Kisame says.

"Its fine, its fine. But still no ships or planes have come by here" Zetsu says.

"Wait, what's that!?" Tobi says as he points to the sky.

They all look up and see a small figure!

"It's a bird!"

"A plane!"

"It's………Superman?"

And then a caped guy with blue tights lands in front of the Akatsuki.

"Does someone need rescuing?" Superman says.

"Well this is something you don't see everyday" Itachi says.

"Pss" Superman whispers, "Is your friend there okay? He's talking to a crab".

"Oh don't mind him" Kisame says, "Thank you thank you thank you! You saved us!"

"Uhhh" Superman says, "What are you doing here Aqua-man?"

"On don't worry, yeah" Deidara says, "He was born like that".

"Finally a normal guy" Superman thinks and he goes to shake hands with Deidara but quickly pulls his arm away and yelling, "what are those things on your palms?!"

"These?" Deidara says while looking at his mouths on his hands, "their my only friends….."

"Hi Mr. Superman!" Tobi says as he skips to him.

"There's a kid amongst you too!?" Superman says, "It's a good thing I came in time".

"Oh he is not kid" Hidan says, "He is pure trouble!"

"Yikes!" Superman yells as he stares at Hidan's missing ear and all sewed up body, "Frankenstein…..is real?"

"Well enough talk, are you ganna save us or not?" Sasori says.

"Pinocchio?!" Superman says in surprise.

"Hey guys do we still need this fire?" Zetsu says, "It's getting a bit out of control".

"Seaweed-man?" Superman says, "You're here too?"

"Wait, is this going to cost anything?" Kakuzu asks.

"Of course not, as long as you're a law-biding citizen" Superman says.

"Well count me out".

"Yeah, m too".

"Sorry can't go".

"I'm out".

"See ya".

"Wait?" Superman says, "How bout I'll let you go for free but you got to promise to do one good deed?"

"Sounds good".

"I like it".

"Sure".

"This is good".

"Yeah I can do that".

"Perfect!" Superman says, "now everyone on my back".

Update Soon

REVIEW


	10. A New Mess

_**I MUST APOLOGIZE FOR NOT WRITING IN A VERY LONG TIME**_

"Hey! Who's touching me there, hm?"

"Wasn't me"

"Huh? Who was that?"

"Oops, sorry"

"Someone went through my wallet!"

"Sigh……Why is this so weak?"

"Get off me!"

"My stitches are coming loose, ahh!"

The Akatsuki continue to argue while riding on Superman's back.

"_Can these guys really do a good deed? They keep fighting_" Superman though. He laughed at himself and though, "_Who am I kidding? Of course these guys can do a deed, I mean, when am I ever wrong? Just look at Lex, he turned out alright……more or less"._

Superman flew the Akatsuki onto a cruise ship.

"Well guys, this is our stop" Superman said, "I can't take you anymore because I must get going. Take care and remember the good deed" and he flies away.

"Wait!" Hidan shouts, "I wanted your autograph….."

"Don't worry Hidan-san" Tobi says, "I'm sure you'll meet him again. I mean, how often do you get to meet Superman?"

This just makes Hidan worse.

"Ah cheer up" Tobi continues, "just ask your God for help" and Tobi give Hidan one more pat on the back and goes off.

"OUCH, OUCH!" Hidan shouts, "My stitches! Ahh!" and his head falls off and rolls along the deck.

"Hey, hey Itachi" Deidara says, "Let's go look around the ship, yeah".

"HUH?" Itachi says, "We're on a ship? Since when?"

"Oh no Deidara-sama" Tobi says, "I know what you wanna do with Itachi-san hehe. He's coming with me" and Tobi takes Itachi away.

"B-But…." Deidara pleads but they were gone.

"Guess it's just us four" Sasori says.

"Hmph! The Hell with you guys" Kakuzu says, "I got Superman's wallet. I wonder what his Credit Card limit is" and he goes off too.

"Haha! A pool! See ya guys!!" Kisame shouts as he runs to the giant-size cruse ship pool.

"Uhhh, so hungry" Zetsu groans, "excuse me while I go eat some kids- I mean FOOD".

"Guess it's just you and me, old partner" Sasori says.

Deidara sighs and says, "I wanted Itachi-chan, yeah..…"

Kakuzu walks around the ship and finds himself in a casino.

"Hehe" he chuckles, "time to have some fun here".

He goes to a man and says, "500 bucks on red!"

"Yes-Sir Mr. Superman" the man replies.

Zetsu walks around the Day-Care center and smiles, "those kids look so….tasty".

A woman then walks up to him and says, "Ah! You must be the new gardner. What are you doing in this area? C'mon I'll take you to the flowers and weeds, their much work to be done" and she takes him away.

"Wa-wait lady" he tries to say.

"No time for waiting, let's go" she says.

"CANNON BALL" Kisame shouts as he jumps in the pool, "This is awesome!"

"Over here Itachi-san, c'mon" Tobi yells.

"Tobi where are we going?" Itachi asks.

"It's a surprise"

"So….What do we do, hm?" Deidara asks.

Sasori just looks clueless.

"How about we try to do that deed?" he asks.

"Someone stop that head, I mean me!" Hidan's head shouts his body continues to get him. "Go to your right, no your other right, come on, a bit more!" he continues to shout at his body, "oh what's the point, the ears are on the head anyway".

UPDATE SOON

REVIEW


	11. Chaos aboard the SS Trouble

_**LOL, I HOPE I DON'T DISAPPOINT YOU ALL**_

"Damn, damn, damn!" Kakuzu keeps shouting as he continues to lose.

"Hey! This is my pool jerk!" Kisame said as he tossed a man off the slide.

"Itachi-san, over here, I bet your ganna love this!" Tobi says.

"What is _it?_" Itachi asks.

"I've wanted to show you this for along time, but the Leader never let us….." Tobi replies, "Something about the Uchihas' bloodline and that it will be bad for you. But I'm sure you can take a joke".

"……" Itachi said nothing.

"Damn you old hag" Zetsu complains under his breath, "She is so ganna pay for this".

"Someone stop that head, I mean me!" Hidan shouts. Then suddenly he is stopped by and old man.

"Ah, I found a soccer ball guys" the old man yells back to his other old buddies.

"Huh what!? Hey old man you better put me down!" Hidan shouts.

"Huh?" The old man says and laughs, "It almost sounded as if this ball talked. Guys, it's playtime!"

"Noo!!!!!!!" Hidan shouts

"So how should we do this good deed?" Sasori asks.

Deidara shrugs, "You're guess is as good as mine, yeah. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever done a good deed. I was a terrorist bomber before joining Akatsuki, I always picked on Tobi, and I still think my art is the best".

"Hmm, that does double for me, I killed my parents, kidnapped my Kazekage, made hundreds of people into puppets, and I defected from my village" Sasori says, "looks like we need some soul searching here".

"Captain, you called me?" a young sailor says as he goes to the Cruise Ship's captain.

"Yes" the Captain says, "Have you noticed that our good friend Superman has brough a few men on board?"

"Yes-Sir"

"Let's keep an eye or two on 'em. I have a BAD feeling about them"

"Make sure to plant these new flowers, oh and pick out all the weeds, make sure to add the bug-spray too and before I forget you have to-" but the lady was stopped.

"OKAY LADY! I DO ALL THAT!" Zetsu yells.

"Security, security!" a security officer shouts, "we need all security officers on the pool area ASAP! We have an angry fish-man".

"I told you, I own this pool! Kisame shouts. More men jump on him like football players but Kisame takes them all down.

"What do you mean my card has reached its limit already!?" Kakuzu shouts at a man.

"Uhh, yes sorry Mr. Superman but it can't go anymore".

Kakuzu grabs the man by the shirt and tells him, "I'll tell you when it can't go any more! Now 50 on black!"

"Come on come on, Itachi-san!" Tobi urges.

"Where are we going Tobi? It's getting much darker" Itachi says.

"Shhh, It's about to start" Tobi says.

They hear a huge sound and a giant voice says, "_Now presenting the famous play, The Blind Ninja_"

Itachi's eyes begin to glow, "Tobi, there is a reason the Leader band this movie from the hideout………"

Hidan's body continues to hit the same wall over and over. "Oh my!" a lady screams, "It's a headless monster!"

"OUCH, OUCH! Stop it you old geezers!" Hidan continues to shout but the old men continue to use him as a soccer ball. "You are all going to pay for this with your lives! My great God will punish you!"

"Hey we can go help Kisame and his security problem" Sasori suggests.

"Or how about Hidan and getting his head?" Deidara asks too.

"We'll split the tasks-" Sasori says but is cut off by Deidara running off yelling, "You get Hidan!"

"You, you! You stupid clay-artist! You know I hate Hidan" Sasori yells back but it was too late.

Zetsu continues to plant plants when he hears a few cops pass by. "Oh no! I though I ditched the cops at the hideout? How did they find me? I better hide!" and he jumps down the balcony and falls through the ceiling and into a Day-Care Center. "Hehe, lucky me" he says licking his lips but then that same woman comes through the door.

"What are you doing here, c'mon let me take you to the plants"

"Ah!! Leave me alone lady!" and Zetsu jumps through the window and down again and into a pool.

"Zetsu! This is my pool!" Kisame screams and throws Zetsu at the guards.

"The cops again!?" Zetsu says. "THEY AIN'T TAKING ME ALIVE!" And Zetsu takes a cop hostage.

"Yeah! Good idea!" Kisame shouts.

Deidara finally arrives at the scene and says to himself, "Oh man, this always happens to Kisame when he has a bad day, he goes all crazy. And What the hell is Zetsu doing!?"

They then hear in the guards radio, "_Attention, we need all security at the theater area; we have an out of control fire!_"

"Uhh, Hidan what's going on?" Sasori asks the head.

"Yes! My prayers has been answered! Help me please!" the head shouts.

Sasori sighs and says, "You're lucky we owe superman…"

Sasori takes the head back from the old men, "Hey, we were using that ball"

"Too bad ya geezers" Sasori says and leaves with Hidan's head.

The old men looked very mad and one said, "Prepare for war men".

"Hey you!" a young sailor yelled at Kakuzu, You're not Superman!, get him!"

"Uh oh" Kakuzu gulped.

"There's the fire-breathing madman" a guard said pointing at Itachi"

"Itachi-san, we better get going" Tobi said.

Update Not So Soon, Computer busted

Review Please lol


	12. Chaos aboard the SS Trouble Part2

I must say I am extremely sorry for my very, very late updates lately, but the computer problem is gone and a thing in the past

_**I must say I am extremely sorry for my very, very very late updates lately, but the computer problem is gone and a thing in the past. (Now it's just fitting in time to do time story). I must say though, I think my chapters are lacking 'funniness', I think I gatta make 'em better. So once again sorry. Oh and you reviews are really good, they are really helpful, thanks you all.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**_

"Itachi-san! What are you doing?" Tobi yells.

"Burning these actors for doing such a show"

"But everyone is gone, you scared them all away. You're burning curtains"

"Look, there he is!" the guard said pointing at Itachi.

"Itachi-san….." Tobi mumbled.

"And a karate kick there, and a con-fu punch here" Kisame said as he pushed away the guards.

"_Is Kisame talking to himself again_?" Deidara wondered, "_And when did he learn to fight like that hmm?"_

"Zetsu, heads up" Kisame said as he tossed a guard to him.

"Snap, goes the guard's neck, this is too easy" Zetsu says.

"Uhh, maybe I should have gone and helped Hidan instead" Deidara says to himself.

"There's the man who stole our soccer ball!" and old guy shouts as he loads a rocket-launcher.

"We have to find my body!" Hidan's head says.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Sasori shouts, "how about you explain to me why you were hanging around Veterans who still know how to use firearms and can't tell the difference between a head and a soccer ball!?"

And he dodges the explosion.

"Uhh maybe I'll stay with Kisame yeah" Deidara mumbles to himself.

"These black-flames won't go out!" a sailor shouts.

"Now's our chance Itachi-san, let's go" and Tobi pulls Itachi away.

"Lady stop screaming!" Kakuzu says, "It's just my headless partner's skeleton body"

Bang, bang Kakuzu gets shot by the sailors.

"Oh man….." he then stares at the woman and says, "Uhh I'm gonna need your heart"

"Let's hide in here" Tobi says and pulls Itachi into the pool area and Tobi sees Kisame throwing the guards around, "oh whoa are we playing Hot-potato?" and Tobi goes to join.

"Okay Kisame calm down yeah, Zetsu stop eating the dead guys, Tobi what are you doing here!?" Deidara's attempt to control the situation just make's it worst.

"Tobi!" Kisame yells, "Head's up!"

"Tobi Mega-Kick!" Tobi cheers as he kicks a guard across the ship, "how many points was that Kisame-san?"

"50!"

"_We have 4 passengers that need to be detained in the pool area"_

"Kisame? Is that you?" Itachi says.

"Itachi!" Deidara stops resettling Zetsu for the foot and runs over to Itachi…….Only to be blasted by a grenade.

"Are we under attack" Itachi says as he takes a stance.

"MOVE IT! PUPPESTEER WITH TALKING HEAD COMING THROUGH!"

"We want our ball back!"

"I'm a head damnit!"

"Looks there's your body!" Sasori yells.

"Well the heart's gone, might as well take their wallet too" Kakuzu says as he stands over yet another victim.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yells, "sew me back together!" and another explosion comes.

"Hurry up and do it before these geezers turn me into firewood!" Sasori says.

"This isn't gonna cost me anything right?"

"Hey Itachi!" Deidara says and gives him a pat on the back. But get's hammered in the stomach and flipped around.

"Who are you? Where are we now Tobi?" Itachi says, "Tobi…..?"

"100 points!" Tobi cheers as he kicks yet another guard.

"Why do they make sandals with those metal buckles on them?!" Zetsu complains as he spits out the chewed up sandal.

"My pool!" Kisame shouts as he throws around more guards.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you Deidara" Itachi says as he helps Deidara up.

"Its okay Itachi-chan, I'm okay……I think, hmm" He says as he puts his wrist back in place.

"What's going on" Itachi asks.

"Oh nothing, something about Kisame on a rampage and Zetsu eating people, oh and I think Hidan is being chased by old men" Deidara explains as he kicks a grenade back the other way.

"Okay there! All done!" Kakuzu says.

"I will pray for you Kakuzu, but was it really necessary to use my body as a human-shield!?"

"Hey your immortal, and in one piece, stop complaining" Sasori says.

"Okay what is the problem here!?" the Caption of the ship says as he goes down to the pool area.


	13. Chaos aboard the SS Trouble Part3

Well this is the 13th (thirteen) chapter so you can all imagine how Unfortunate this is going to be

_**Well this is the 13**__**th**__** (thirteen) chapter so you can all imagine how Unfortunate this is going to be.**_

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND THIS IS STRICLY FAN-MADE **_

"Look it's a Kisame look-alike!" Tobi laughs as he points to the Caption.

"Well I didn't see this coming yeah" Deidara says.

"What is it? He is too far away, I can't see what's happening" Itachi says, "and why do I smell smoke?"

"it appears that the Caption of the ship is Aqua-Man" Deidara explains.

"Half-fish, half-man? I wonder how he tastes" Zetsu says to himself.

"Are you the one causing ruckus on my Ship?" Aquaman asks Kisame.

"Are you the one in charge?" Kisame asks.

"I'm the one asking the questions here"

"No I'm the one asking the questions here!"

"So you wanna be a wise-guy ay trouble-maker"

"Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight" Tobi chants.

"Okay here's the plan….." Sasori whispers to Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Wait I don't like this plan" Hidan says.

"Well too bad, I can't afford to buy hearts on Ebay all the time and it's two votes over one so too bad" Kakuzu says as he gets up from behind their hiding spot.

"I got five bucks on Kisame" Tobi says to Zetsu.

"Ha! You're on! 5 bucks on Aquaman"

"Ayeee yaaa!! Ku-wa!!" Kisame makes weird Karate noises and moves his body in a weird way.

"What are you doing?" Aquaman asks.

"Don't worry about that, I'm just getting started" Kisame replies.

"What's going on now Deidara?" Itachi asks.

"it appears that Kisame is trying to dance and…...where did Tobi get popcorn hmm!?"

"I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAN! I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAN I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAN!!" Hidan screams as his body is used as a shield to protect Kakuzu and Sasori from the old-men assault.

"Oh shut-up and be useful once in a while!" Sasori yells.

"Kakuzu you're my partner, help me out here!"

"I agree with Sasori-san with this, now shut-up and do what you always do; pray!"

"I hate you!" Hidan screams as he gets shot.

"I'm gonna sit down" Itachi says and sits on a chewed-up corpse.

"uhh, Itachi-chan why don't you sit here yeah" and Deidara hands him a beach-chair.

Itachi only shrugs and then says, "Don't you smell fire?"

"How can you eat through that mask Tobi?" Zetsu asks.

Tobi points to Kisame and Aquaman as their fight begins….sort of, "LOOK! LOOK!" He cheers.

"Pass me that arm will ya"

"Rock, paper, scissor!" Kisame and Aquaman both said.

"Re-do….again!"

"Rock, paper, scissor!" Kisame and Aquaman both said again.

Re-do…..agaian, again.

"Rock, paper, scissor!" Kisame and Aquaman both said again.

"Ahh why are we doing this!!" Kisame shouts in agony.

"I am a member of an anti-crime organization, violence isn't what I do" Aquaman answered.

"Oh well this is awkward, i'm a member of a criminal organization bent on world domination"

"Rolling bone-ball of madness!" Kakuzu shouts as he throws Hidan towards the old men.

"I'm not a bowling ball you 4-hearted freak!" Hidan shouts as bowls over a group of old-men and a hole in the wall.

"Nice throw" Sasori says as they run for the exit.

"Uhh" Hidan gets up and rubs his head…..only to be dragged some more by Sasori's tail.

And they appear at the poor area, "wonder what's going on here?" Kakuzu says.

"Sir, sir!" a sailor goes over to Aquaman, "the engine room is on fire by a black-flame that just won't go out! It's going to blow!"

"Well that's very unfortunate, get everyone to the life-boats!" and they both ran off.

"Hey we're not through!" Kisame shouts.

"Yeah, don't let him runaway Kisame-san!" Tobi cheers.

"No! Shut-up you Tobi or I'll choke you again, yeah" Deidara shouts at them, "this is our chance to escape".

"Escape from what?" Itachi asks, "Are we in trouble?"

"Well I'm full, nothing can ruin my day now" Zetsu says with a huge smile as he licks his fingers.

And then the whole pool area blows up and the Akatsuki go soaring.

"What's so funny Tobi?" Itachi asks.

Tobi was laughing his ass off, "who would had thought that the Engine-Room was under the Pool-Area? I mean, what are the chances of that?"

"We were by a pool?" Itachi asks confused.

"This is like a nightmare, yeah" Deidara says.

"You think! I'm on fire again! Put it out, put it out!" Sasori screams.

"Well at least you're not in pieces Sasori" Hidan's flying head says.

"Hey I'm not complaining right now" Kakuzu says, "I won so much money".

"I hear ya Kakuzu, I'm so full" Zetsu adds.

Kisame is just in a daze…."Hawaii…..Fishy….Water"

"Wait, are we flying guys?" Itachi asks.

Update Soon

Review


	14. MeanWhile

This chapter is mostly about The Akasuki Leader, I mean he is in Akasuki too, he has to have bad-luck too xD

_**This chapter is mostly about The Akasuki Leader, I mean he is in Akasuki too, he has to have bad-luck too xD. This was inspired by **_SharinganWarriorTribute, _**thank you.**_

"Uhh where are we, yeah?" Deidara moans.

"I feel like I went through Hell" Sasori groans.

"I feel like hell too Sasori-san" Itachi says.

"Uhh that's another tree Itachi" Sasori replies.

"I can't stop vomiting! Oh man this is the worst stomachache ever!" Zetsu shouts, "last time I eat before a flight!"

"I can't feel my legs!" Hidan shouts, "in fact I can't feel anything below my neck!"

"Oh shut-up and pray" Kakuzu says as he kicks Hidan's head, "I'll go find your body parts; again…..I should start charging him for this".

"Does anyone know where we are?" Itachi asks.

"Well there's an old campfire and hammocks on trees and a sewing kit.….I think we crashed at our old-island where Superman saved us" Tobi relies.

"How can that kid have so much energy, hmm?" Deidara asks Sasori.

"Your guess is as good as mine old partne-" but then Sasori goes on a screaming frenzy! "Ahhh!"

"I wanna scream too Sasori-san" Tobi says as if it's a good thing to scream, "What happen"?

"I'm missing half my body!" Sasori screams.

"Has anyone seen Kisame?" Itachi asks.

Zetsu points to the ocean without looking; he was too busy vomiting people's body parts and sailor hats.

Kisame is seen splashing water around him like a little kid and mumbling things about water and paradise.

"Well he's lost it" Kakuzu declares.

"I agree" Tobi cheers.

"So what do we do now Deidara-san"? Itachi asks.

"I'm not Deidara you red eyed idiot!" Hidan shouts "don't disturb me when I'm praying!"

Later that day…..

"The sun is setting yeah" Deidara declares, "what are we going to do?"

"I say we jus call The Leader and cancel this whole 'vacation thing' and go back to hunting Demons!" Sasori says, "I never wanted to come here in the first place!"

"NO!! WE GO TO HAWAII!!" Kisame screams as his upper body stands up and then lays back down like a robot that is bent on going to Hawaii and will have no word on returning.

"I don't think Kisame will allow it and besides how are we going to call The Leader?" Itachi says.

"Hermit Shell!" Tobi cheers happily and picks up a random shell.

"Oh no, I'm not paying for long distance" Kakuzu says.

"What? Gong instant? Speak up guys I'm missing an ear here thanks to our cannibal friend here!" Hidan's head shouts.

"Well blame The Leader for sending us on this stupid vacation and us ending up in the jungle and me going hungry one night" Zetsu says.

"I wonder what The Leader is doing now anyway hmm" Deidara wonders aloud.

_Back at the Akatsuki Hideout….._

"Why do we even call this place the 'Akasuki Hideout'? This place can barely be considered a 'hideout'. What kind of Evil-Organization lives in the middle of Detroit!? Yet again with all it's criminal activity it is a perfect place for a Criminal Organization to hide. Right under their noses, ha-ha stupid cops……But who am I talking to? Konan is out running errands, Orochimaru ditched us, and all my Akatsukis are on vacation. I wonder how it's going for them?" he signed and stopped pacing and looked outside their huge window, gazing down at city below, "it sure gets lonely here in this big Tower".

He turned and went to the fridge and got a box of Mac&Cheese and puts it in the microwave.

"So how do you work this thing? Kisame and Itachi are usually is the ones that do the cooking".

He presses a few buttons and it turns on, "ah! There we go" and then goes to watch TV. He turns it on and they are giving the news about a bunch of ran-over cats, "Boring", and then he switches it to a report about a plane-crash caused by terrorists, "not like it concerns me", and then switches it to another news report about a Cruise Ship blowing up, "ahh! All they're giving are stupid useless news reports!" he slouches on his seat and says, "I'm so lonely….." and falls asleep.

The Fire-Alarm is what wakes up The Leader.

"What- what's going on!?" he shouts as he jumps to his feet. "Ahh! My macaroni is on fire! Why must everything I love burn in a crimson death…" and then the Fire-Sprinkles turn on, "and then get soaked in a shower of grief".

And then Konan walks in and sees the mess, "I go to answer the door and I come back to see this? Can't you take care of yourself?"

The Leader just shrugs.

UpDate Soon

Review (Let Me Know How I'm Doing)


End file.
